Done with being productive
I've long accepted that my accomplishments will be modest, if that. Life had its ways of driving that lesson home! But productivity, so called, was always a guiding principle for me. Whether the things I produced were significant, I thought it was important to stay focused on producing — not to build up an inventory of significant products, but to keep me at the job, keep me from drifting aimlessly.
I had learned enough to see that what I accomplish and what I am worth are two separate things. But I had yet to learn that, even aside from my worth, the world just wasn't waiting on me to do something. Things were being done all the time, by me and by everyone else, and the world would decide which ones were important. I had a poor track record of guessing how the world would decide.
At the same time, a good life clearly isn’t about giving up all hope of influencing reality. It’s about taking bold action, creating things, and making an impact – just without the background agenda of achieving full control. Resonance depends on reciprocity: you do things – you have to launch the business, organize the campaign, set off on the wilderness trek, send the email about the social event – and then see how the world responds. (Oliver Burkeman, Meditations for Mortals)
I do things, and keep an eye on how the world responds, if at all. The response, or lack of it, helps me adjust my thinking about what to do next, what to stop doing. But the response in itself is not important, the world will do what it will do. What matters is not the thing I did, but that I did it. Doing is what shapes me into the person I'd like to be, one that is potentially useful to others — even if that potential is never realized.
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