Another caveat
"Other people's opinions of me shouldn't matter. To me, anyway."
What about to the people who have them? Perhaps they "shouldn't" matter, i.e. they'd be better off not having them, especially the negative ones. But in fact they have them. And if those opinions are a psychic burden to them, I am as concerned about it as any other sort of pain, and I don't want to be the occasion for it.
I am lazy about my lawn, and for my own sake I don't care much. I don't care how it looks, only how much trouble it is to maintain. I prefer to cut the grass only just before it would be too thick to mow easily.
And I don't care what sort of low opinion my neighbors have of my lackadasical attitude toward lawn care. I know that it meets my own standard, and that it isn't so negligent that it causes difficulty for them.
Except psychic difficulty. And I am concerned about that. If it's avoidable I'd prefer not to be a source of grief for them. And so I try to balance my laziness and lack of concern against the irritation a shaggy lawn next door might cause them.
One of my life goals is to be totally nondescript, unremarkable in every way. I do not need to stand out as a way of expressing my individuality. I prefer to be unmemorable, unremarkable, unobjectionable, easily tolerated, vaguely pleasant presence. And I actively work to treat others as such.
Previous |